I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me in your closet and I saw you ignore my father. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand how awful I've felt. I'm returning the pictures from LA to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood sample as a memory. You should also know that I am better off without eggplant-fetishism.

Go and drown yourself,
Josef


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Hiya boys and gals! Here is another episode of the daily, weekly, monthly, randomly Djoseph journal!

First of all I hope nobody (~Zegovia most of all) did take the first part seriously. For if you did... well then you know more than I do. Template for this funny thing can be found after the journal entry. Try to see if you can learn some new things about me!
Now for the journal.
Hope you are all feeling fine, cause I am. Just came home from my exam in personality psychology, the second partial course of the psychology course I'm taking, and I believe that I did quite well on this one. This has been an interesting and challenging course so far, really makes you think, but it is still going to be nice to relax a little this weekend.

As for DA related stuff I have to say I am royally ashamed (probably a Swenglish expression but I don' care)that my productivity have gone from little to less to naught. I have some small things that will be finished soon if I just get my hands on them. I'm going to blame homework, what little I have, for that as far as I can.

What more can I say? Autumn is here, and the leaves are not. Well, they're not on the trees anymore at least. Fall should give good inspiration for a poet, but I suppose I haven't been out in it enough yet. I'll see what comes up when I go to get my girlfriends parcel for her, at the post office in the other end of the city, where she lives. I promised to go and get it for her while she's at school, because I'm just too much of a nice guy.

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Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
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b>101 poems project
My plan is to write one hundred and one poems based on these themes I stole from some guy here on DA (if you recognise this please tell me who you are!). I plan to celebrate when I'm done with the first ten. How that will work out will be a surprise. The two missing themes will be added in later. I figure if I manage to write ninety nine poems, two more wouldn't make such a difference.


Done so far: 5
In progress: 3

1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark [link]
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again [link]
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. spit
17. Blood
18. under
19. Gray
20. Fortitude [link]
21. war
22. Mother Nature
23. distasteful -
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. urban
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. wrath
34. stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious
37. see
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. 4:29 [link]
41. Teamwork
42. Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. desecrate
54. Tower
55. need
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. city
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. biohazard
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken
77. Testament
78. Drink
79. FUCK [link]
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. hunger
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drown
92. rape
93. iron
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. Storm
97. Safety
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude