literature

Theme 4: Dark

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Djoseph's avatar
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Literature Text

we are but shadows
cast by streetlights
one by one
burning out
Fifth one in my 101 poems project.

Edit:
Exchanged "lamps" for "lights" after some constructive criticism from my brother: "Lights go out, but lamps hardly do (unless they have legs)" :)

Second edit:
Have done some major revisions according to the discussion below. Now I need some second and third opinions on the changes.
Not sure whether to use "one by one" or "one after another", as it says in the version currently up. Some suggestions there would be helpful.

Final edit: New version posted. Thanks to the ones who participated!
© 2008 - 2024 Djoseph
Comments46
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KneelingGlory's avatar
I love short poems that actually have something to say, as yours does. Fantastic! :+fav: