ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature
Novelber
Bonjour, bonsoir
J'ai eu l'agréable surprise de tomber sur un mouvement Thaïlandais appelé NOVELBER, un mouvement proche du Inktober. Vous êtes les bienvenus si ça vous tentes.
J'ai voulu faire ça pour les gens qui aimeraient écrire, qui ont une panne d'inspiration, ne savent pas quoi écrire, ne sachant pas si ils sont fait pour écrire, qui souhaite se dépasser... J'ai voulu le faire surtout à but RÉCRÉATIF ! dans un esprit de partage.
REGLE 1: 30 jours = 30 écrits
REGLE 2: si vous participez au Novelber et postez vos textes, pensez à mettre le #novelber #novelber2
Literature
December 5, 2016
When the feelings fade away
what becomes of love?
what is "I love you"?
was this ever love?
Yes
But those feelings are now a distant idea
so they do not mean much to me now
which kills me
because it will kill You
I pray this is just a superficial moment
for how else could I not care?
The truth is,
I care too much
yet so,
it isn't love
for now
Literature
2010
'07
What did I tell you in 2007?
The celebration of time together now done,
Bent on leaving, unwilling to stay,
Behind your childish eyes.
I told you not to go.
Rhetoric patriotic riotic feud poured
From a hormone-fueled mouth,
As you promised me, the tree,
our class, king country, and God
That you would return safely.
You promised us you would not die.
'08
I reasoned with you, I begged you,
But you went anyway.
Maybe it was the figure you cut
in uniform,
Maybe it was the red blood blood-red
rhetoric already half false,
Maybe it was a mind half rotted,
finally cracking under the pressure of a consta
Suggested Collections
Fifth one in my 101 poems project.
Edit:
Exchanged "lamps" for "lights" after some constructive criticism from my brother: "Lights go out, but lamps hardly do (unless they have legs)"
Second edit:
Have done some major revisions according to the discussion below. Now I need some second and third opinions on the changes.
Not sure whether to use "one by one" or "one after another", as it says in the version currently up. Some suggestions there would be helpful.
Final edit: New version posted. Thanks to the ones who participated!
Edit:
Exchanged "lamps" for "lights" after some constructive criticism from my brother: "Lights go out, but lamps hardly do (unless they have legs)"
Second edit:
Have done some major revisions according to the discussion below. Now I need some second and third opinions on the changes.
Not sure whether to use "one by one" or "one after another", as it says in the version currently up. Some suggestions there would be helpful.
Final edit: New version posted. Thanks to the ones who participated!
© 2008 - 2024 Djoseph
Comments46
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I love short poems that actually have something to say, as yours does. Fantastic!